The questions I ask myself in the silence...
Things like... Should I remain unheard?
Should I give in to the repentance?
Or the bitterness?
And when voices rise up, I wonder...
What can I say to match something like that?
I spit; I stumble; I blunder.
Most everytime I try.
Then, when it's over, I think...
Well, that didn't work out so well...
At least I'm on the brink
Of being helpful.
And hours go by as I try to forget my mistakes...
Thinking the failurs are best not remembered at all;
Thinking nothing's at stake...
Except my own shame.
Until one blustery thundering day...
My favorite kind to be free and to live,
When I can imagine all is ok,
Even though my heart knows it isn't.
But someone smiles and laughs at my jokes...,
The mess I remember, already forgot;
Fondly recalling the words that I spoke;
Catching my feet when I stumbled
But what? What do you mean?
You like what I said, what I did?
I was silly, didn't it seem?
I wonder to myself...
I don't know; I don't understand...
But nobody seems to notice;
They're shoving me, laughing and grand,
Returning the smiles...
Returning the smiles I've given to them...,
Because I can't help but be happy,
With a glowing heart and happy grin
With my friends.
Beautiful, hearts full of caring,
Friends of all kinds:
Courageous and daring
And quietly strong.
They're my help and my hope
Releasing the binds,
Cutting the ropes...
Of my constraint.
With them, I can be...,
Everything I am, and covered in scars,
I'm still happy and free
Because they love me as me.
And when I spit and stumble and blunder...,
They don't sigh or curse
Or moan or groan or mutter...
Even silently in their minds...
They get it. They forgive,
Forgive in the beat of a heart,
Because they'd rather I live
Then fall with no one to help.
They're my friends. My family,
And I love them as them
Because they first loved me...
Thank you, my lov-el-lee angels,
For setting me free.