Monday, 30 April 2012

The Moment
I was inspired by this song. I had to write something, and this is what I listened to as I did.

The moment
I'll look into your eyes, and you'll look into mine
The tears of happiness
Will blur my vision and I'll blink so I could gaze at you
In your arms
I'll want to stay forever, but know that isn't possible
In my mind
You always are, and always will be

I love you
I hope those will be the first words I will say
Just imagine
I'll probably fail and stutter a 'hello'
You understand
I know you do, when I say this is a feeling stronger than anything
I wish
I could fast-forward to our time together, and then freeze it

Not long now
Until the perfect time I'm sure we'll have
Not for long
I'm afraid that having to seperate again will cause me too much pain
But pain
It means I care, and love, and
I do.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

The Ghost and the Girl

The sky was grey, the forest brown;
The month was May in that small town,
When everywhere there rose a shout-
A mournful scare, a wave of doubt!
For from the mist there came a shape
With tight-clenched fists that none escaped!

She was a she with moon-pale gown;
Her lips were red in perky frown;
About her neck was crimson blood,
And from her eyes poured icy flood;
Revenge she sought from every man,
And that she wrought for 'twas her plan.

But just one lass- a child was she-
Calmed her wrath benignantly:

She said, "Please, miss, why do ye this?"

"Because I hate," came whispering hiss.
"But what of friends and family?"
"I have not one," she murmured mournfully.

"I was alone, and so my life I took,
And, dejectedly, not one for it did look!
Slowly anger honed and mirth turned to disgust,
For my body went to bones and then to dust;
Hence I screamed in wrath and here I came-
Revenge I sought from every lad and dame."

"Dear, miss, please forgive these ignorant souls,
And don't be the one their life you stole!
Be my friend; I'd love to know you,
And I promise I will e'er be true
Forgive us, please, for ignorance-
You truly are of most importance!"

"Sweet child, why be ye oh so kind to me
When I, mad and wild, destroyed obliviously?"

"Because," she said, "You hurt inside
And doing naught could not abide."

Her eyes were set with smiles in place,
And gentle, loving mettle showed upon her face.

A single tear slid down the ghostly cheek-
Her heart was touched by one so young and meek;
"Forgive my wrath I ardent prithee:
I see my acts were done unthinkingly;
I know indeed, that I am culpable,
And all my deeds are undeniable"

The child looked with staggered sympathy-
"No, most ghost, you acted rationally!
I but wish misfortune had avoided you,
And I regret you being very sad and blue."

"Ah, but I have turned contrary-
My heart is no more burned, nor wary!"

Her icy eyes turned toward the sky of blue
As all around flowers bloomed of every hue;
Her arms outstretched from end to end,
And gently by came sweetly cooing wind;
Last, her ruby lips turned up into a smile,
And butterflies came from miles and miles!

She seemed to glow from inward and from out-
No more was she a foe- angry, full of doubt-
Grinning, she gazed happily upon the girl:
"Farewell, for this is never more my world!"
A raffish light burst from in her,
And with a laugh, she disappeared like springtime come from winter.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

The Dove Keeper

Poet's note: This poem is inspired by a really long and really good Frerard fic (a.k.a. one of the hottest gay pairings EVER) called the Dove Keeper. IT WAS SO PERFECT but anyway, I HAVE to write something. Inspiration was from the official "book cover" I suppose; it never really was published outside of livejournal. Link:

There is freedom in art
The wild splash of colours
The layers of paint
On an off white canvas

there is freedom in music
The twang of guitar strings
The singing of a lone voice
The hollow bell rings

There is freedom in dance
The movement of motivation
The swinging of graceful legs
An expression in intepritation

There is freedom in art
There is freedom in music
There is freedom in dance
But is there freedom in love?

Society molds us
But that's what they say
You have to find your own freedom
In your own way

A love of a life
The teacher and student
Trying to stay away
Trying to stay prudent

Accused for loving
Accused for living
A life always wanted
A teacher always giving

A student, teaching
The teacher, learning
All from each other
A freedom in loving

Dreams that are realised
The tears that are cried
The smiles are remembered
The pair never lied.

The teacher, the keeper,
the student, the dove
A relationship, exceptional
A new kind of love.

Their chapter is over,
maybe too soon
But there's always an epilogue
In that small room.

Monday, 23 April 2012

The Kids From Yesterday

Poet's note: I don't usually put lyrics down, I draw inspiration from them. But with the video of Gee reading the TKFY lyrics circulating, I got the urge to write something, but I couldn't get anything out. This song is, to me, an intepritation of life, through so many people's eyes, and it's so direct, so here are the lyrics.

Well now this could be the last of all the rides we take
So hold on tight and don't look back
We don't care about the message or the rules they make
I'll find you when the sun goes black

And you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday

All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate
They only care if you can bleed
Does the television make you feel the pills you ate?
Or every person that you need to be

Cause you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday

Today, today
We are the kids from yesterday
Today, today

Here we are and we won't stop breathing
Yell it out 'til your heart stops beating

We are the kids from yesterday

Cause you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
Today, today

Saturday, 21 April 2012

What He Was/Is/Will Be

He used to draw,
He used to write,
He used to laugh,
He loved the light.

Now he’s nothing,
Hidden in the dark,
Crying with pain,
His back in an arc.

He will be happy,
He will be sad,
But until then,
He’s nothing but bad.

It's Just Love

 Please, no more
Of your sympathy
Of what I am.
For I am human, just like you.

I cannot be cured
For I do not have a disease.
What I have, but you cannot see,
Is love.

Love for you,
Love for me.
Love for him,
Love for her.

Is it not all the same,
But different in the way
We understand?
I am he, he is he.

We love like anyone.
We kiss like all.
We want as many.
We hold as always.

If you believe my words,
Then, why, why
do you ask when
I decided to be me?

My Dark Future

The feeling of confusion,
Is all I feel these days—
Why am I like this?
Why am I this way?

It hurts so bad,
It hurts so much,
To think of my inevitably
Dark future.

I know what I’ll do.
I know what will happen.
I know you’ll hate me for it,
But please understand it was too much.

It’s just, you see,
This is too much for my small brain
To handle. Too much
For me.

That’s why I’ll end it,
With a jump or two.
All I need is one loose knot,
To me feel free.

Who I Am

The fear making my heart go
The fright making my gut go

I told you and we cried,
I told you and we lied,
I told you and I broke you,
I told you and it was new.

Then you betrayed my heart,
My mind, my body, my soul.
You went and told another person,
You tried to make me say no.

But this is who I am,
Someone you obviously hate,
That’s tough, you have to live with it,
Because I’m me and me is great.

I’m not sure what to do now,
Or what will happen in the future.
Some rough, some bumps, some ups and downs,
In the end I’ll be gone.

Never again remembered.
Because I’m what you call a monster.

Friday, 20 April 2012


Poet's note: I've been doing so much depressing shit lately, I decided to do something better.

Haikus don't make sense
Not always, at least, to me

Last person standing

Arrows scream, and fire burns,
Water drowns, to earth returns
The person standing to conquer all,
Another body, another stall.

Walk among debris with arms flung out
Without mercy without doubt
Killing, killing has begun
Victims, enemies, start to run

The fire leaping is your friend
Deathly corpses met their end
Pick through bones and fallen swords
It's you, against all the odds

The medal hangs heavy around your neck
The thousand souls that you collect
Adding your power, multiplying,
The tendrils of power, truly terrifying.

Your sword clashes with another
Finally someone worthy of bother
Sweat and blood trickles down your brow
Tears of pain and victory now

A final blow, just one, so deep
Into your side, a cut, blood leaps,
A final goodbye to what's known of the world
Your beloved wife, your beloved girl

The last man standing finally collapses.
Another warrior in death relapses
A man without feeling, without fear
Takes his place with the drop of a tear

Is this outrageous, asking them to battle?
To walk among kin while old bones rattle?
To kill without mercy, a slice with a landing--
Not too outrageous to the last man standing.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Live Or Die Trying

Some say that's life's a terminal disease
I cannot say that I agree to that
Life is so much more and so amazing
Just open your eyes and you'll see I'm right

My life has changed in oh so many ways
Since last year, when I was torn and broken
I am now whole and happy and alive
I'm living life to fullest and it's great

Last year I though that life won't have a chance
I thought that I would never feel again
Nothing but the bruises left unhealed
As I look back I wish I would've known

Wish I would've known what the future held
Wish I would've guessed I would be healed
Wish I would've known I wouldn't care
Wish I would've known I'd be alive

Now it looks like everything's a dream
Like it's just far too good to be true
Sometimes I still fear I will awake
Into the living nightmare of the past

But why do I still hate my life back then?
Why does my mind fail to let it go?
Why do I keep picking at the scabs?
Why do I relive the pain again?

I guess this poem's nothing but a rant
My mind keeps wandering away
From the poem I'd have liked to write
Which now is nothing but a faded name

I wish I could've found the words to say
Exactly what had scarred me so last year
But writing it would be living the pain
That even after all this time I fear

This poem turned out to be different
Slightly hypocritical, you could say
Because right now I am not quite living
But dying slowly as I try to see.

Saturday, 14 April 2012


Throughout my life, I've always been afraid
Losing someone I loved, seeing them in coffins laid

Throughout my life, I've always lost things
Whether be it treasured, they fall away like feathers from wings

Throughout my life, I've been through loss
Loves and hates, too much they cost

Throughout my life, loss is not something new
In fact it's my friend, helping me through the pews

Throughout my life, the question must always be,
sometimes I wonder, is anyone afraid to lose me?

Friday, 13 April 2012

A late happy birthday wish...

He taught me to never give a fuck about what others think.
He taught me to always chase my dreams,
and fuck the others who are too timid,
or too conformed by society to do so.

He taught me to always live and love,
that there are people out there who understand you.
That there are people out there who love you,
truly truly love you for who you are.

He taught me to respect myself,
to never hurt myself in any way possible.
He taught me many, many, many things.
He is the best teacher ever.

He molded me

and painted me,
from an unsightly, dull, clay vase
to one that is brightly coloured and unique.

I was stuck in society's trap --
a black and white world that was just so drab and dull.
When I longed for something more than the usual screaming and crying,
he gave that to me.

And without him knowing it, he became my hero.

Thank you, Gerard.

Thank you, and happy birthday.
May the years to come be even more successful for you.
Stay happy,
stay snarky,
stay my hero.