Wednesday, 28 September 2011

How not to hurt

Curl up on my fancy bed,
Tears soak through the sheets
Pink, yellow, green and red,
my blood trickles from pierced feet.

Colours sweep across my eyes
As stars burst behind my eyelids,
my cheek stings as palms fly
Wonder why I forgive my mother morbid.

Tear-stained cheeks turn red with blood
And red infuriates my mother’s eyes
And her heart is bitter as a cud,
Dashing knives and making blood fly.

Congealing blood lands on the floor
And my scars slowly leave no trace
But mental scars are like a distant shore
And she finally stops her increasing pace.

Once again dragged up and bleeding
My mother’s fury knows no bounds
On my blood her anger is feeding
My racked body is the feeding ground.

How am I supposed to hurt anymore?
Not when I’ve been living in pain so long.
But my heart hurts more than the flying gore
Stinging slaps sing a sweet song.

Physical scars are not hard to heal
I see my friends looking so happy
But happy is not something I can feel
I envy their lives so sappy.

I wonder how I’m not mad yet
I wonder why I still love her
I wonder why I’m just her pet
And my flying innards my fur.

All I want to do is please
And allay my parent’s fury
At night they eat wine and cheese
Leaving me bits of mercury

The scars on my hands are hard to see
The scars in my mind invisible
But everytime I wince just think of me
And know my illness is incurable.